- This and - More coming up on - The Whitney Reynolds Show.

- You know, part of my calling is just to be a light in dark places, and finding true crime was totally unexpected in my career.

- I have this memory of being eight and wanting to be a child psychologist.

I just knew I wanted to be someone who helped kids that were in distress in family situations.

- I'll never forget the first year we had a chance to get a Michelin star at Tempurus, and when that guy came out, we didn't get the call.

It was like, I think the focus should be on the people that are paying for the seats here.

And that's kind of what changed my whole mindset and led to - More.

The Whitney Reynolds show is supported by Kevin O'Connor Law Firm.

When it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Together at Peace Foundation, remembrance, resilience, and comfort, creating a hopeful space for those who are grieving.

The C. Thomas Group, residential real estate investment and advisory.

The Respiratory Health Association, clean air and healthy lungs for all.

JoePerillo.com, where you can browse their selection of pre-owned vehicles.

Joe Perillo is based in Chicago and ships all over the country.

Children's Learning Place, a school for our earliest learners dedicated to aiding every child with the power of learning.

And West Real Estate Group, providing multi-family investment in property management services.

The Couch Brothers, family and first responder owned.

MM LaFleur, for women by women.

- Additional - Funding provided by Home Carpet One, Newbie, High Five Sports, Brand Appliance and TV.

- Learning to trust yourself.

It isn't always easy and sometimes it's uncomfortable, but today's guest remind us how important it is to lead on with courage.

Awakening the soul of our story.

- Come for the stories, save for the heart.

You - Might recognize a new look.

We are ready to take things to the next level.

- Whitney's here to share your dream.

I' - Watching the Whitney Reynolds show to your home.

- Real voice is real lives in every episode.

This is the Whitney Reynolds Show.

- From the darkest crime scenes to the relentless search for truth, Claire Se Amant has spent her career confronting the stories most people can't imagine.

As an investigative journalist, she dug deep into some of the most disturbing and complex criminal cases, following evidence and searching for answers to questions that others have left behind.

In a world where truth can be bruised, Claire has made it her mission to uncover it.

Welcome to the show.

- Thanks, Whitney, for having me.

- Well, learning to trust yourself.

You are one in a very similar seat to what I'm in with owning your own show.

- Yes.

So I've worked in true crime television for about a decade now, but whenever I started out, I wasn't for my own show.

I was working for CBS News 48 Hours.

Part of my calling is just to be a light in dark places and finding true crime was totally unexpected in my career.

I've always been a storyteller, always looked for important stories, hard stories, and the crime beat just really found me.

- You went from being a local Dallas reporter and went straight to national.

- I followed one story to the next, and it led to the job offer that I never imagined.

I never thought I would work in television, but it's been a great home for me.

- Yet you were doing it and your little inner voice went off.

- It did.

And it was the kind of job that people see as a dream job and a job that you would never leave.

But I felt like there was something more for me, something different, and I really wanted to bet on myself and see what kind of career I could create.

- Well, and how did you know you were good at what you do?

Because I think often we can have that imposter syndrome, we can be there, but to be in those dark places, you said, "I want to be a light in the dark places," but you were having to go up to people after potentially one of their family members passed.

- Yes.

Yes.

It's not for the faint of heart to work in true crime, but I've always been a people person and I felt like if someone had to approach someone in a very difficult situation, I would rather it be me than someone else because I could do it with that sensitivity and that just genuine nature where I really do want to treat them the way I'd want to be treated.

- And when it comes to some of the sensitive topics, can you give us a few examples?

- Sure.

I mean, I'm talking about murder trials, kidnapping cases, murder for hire, anything you can imagine going wrong, it's probably a story I've covered.

- And how did you get people to trust you in those moments?

- I really had to be myself and be honest about what we were doing with our show with 48 Hours.

And it really was a story where we wanted to focus on the victims and how this crime has not just impacted them, but the ripple effects and how there can even be some good that comes from something so terrible.

- And you were in the thick of it and that has to take a toll on your soul.

- It does.

I felt like after about eight years, I was at the point where I though, I don't think this is what God has for me anymore.

I think I have done this for a reason and I've learned a lot, but I needed to talk about crime on my own terms and not work for someone else's show.

- What was it, the turning in your soul, where you knew you had to do it on your own terms?

- So I've always felt like my story judgment is the north star of my career.

When I find a good story, I just feel it in my gut and I know that I have to tell it.

And I had come up against a lot of opposition just at a big network.

And I thought if I was running this show, I could make sure the stories that I really wanted covered made the air.

- And that was the moment.

And so when that clicked for you, did you immediately go into action?

Because it's really hard to step back and then not know what you're stepping into if you'll be successful.

- Yes.

- And the media world's tough.

- It is.

It's a shark tank, Whitney.

I didn't do it immediately.

I took time.

I made my plans.

I wanted to really be sure that this was the right path for me.

I ended up starting my podcast, Final Days on Earth, while I was still at CBS.

I got an exception in my contract to do that.

And it really got me on this entrepreneurial path, you can relate, where I wanted to own the company.

I wanted to be the one in the driver's seat.

And so once I had the podcast, it was really just a matter of time for me to start doing my own projects.

- When you left the major network, did you have to take a little bit of time to turn up that inner voice where you healed - From some - Of those stories because there is a thing of burnout.

- Definitely.

And I was going from a murder trial to a mass shooting to a suspected terrorist attack to a manhunt for a serial killer, just one thing after another, really without any downtime.

So once I finally quit, I did take some time.

I went to therapy.

I did the things that you have to do to take care of yourself and to really come back stronger.

- What was that like knowing like, okay, I'm healing, but I can't put crime away.

- It is funny because a lot of people thought when I was leaving that I was also leaving true crime.

And I think part of me wondered if that might be my story, but true crime just kept pulling me back in, Whitney, and I decided there was a way to do it that was healthy for me.

And that's what led to my book, Killer Story: The Truth Behind True Crime Television.

So I just saw this space in the market where no one had ever written about what it's really like to work in true crime television.

No one working for the big three, 48 Hours, Dateline or 2020 had ever written a book about the show itself.

And so I wanted to be the one to do it.

And it was another one of those good ideas that just grabbed me and I said, "I have to see this through."

- And when you're seeing it through the response of the book, what's your feedback you're getting?

- I'm getting a lot of feedback where people say, "I've never read a book like this before."

- And give us a little example of that.

- Sure.

So I really peel back the curtain and I show what it's like to go have to go into jail, go into prison.

- Literally go - Into jail.

Literally.

- Okay.

- And talk to people suspected of terrible crimes.

And sometimes they say they're innocent and sometimes Whitney, they tell you that they did it and you're face-to-face with them and you have to have that conversation and try to find the humanity.

So I think it's relatable where I talk about sometimes the path that you end up on will surprise you, but trust that you're there for a reason.

- Well, and that's really nailing today's topic on the head because if you didn't listen to yourself, you wouldn't be where you are.

You now have a book, a podcast, and ta-da, go - Ahead.

Yeah.

A television show that's streaming on HBO Max.

- Which is incredible.

- Thank you.

So Killer Confessions: Case Files of a Texas Ranger is out now.

You can watch all the episodes on HBO Max, and it looks at this one investigator, Texas Ranger James Holland, who I had profiled for 60 minutes on CBS News.

And when I met him, Whitney, I said, "This guy's a walking, talking television show.

He needs his own show."

And I knew that if I didn't make it with him, somebody else would.

So that was part of why I left CBS was to go make this show and be an executive producer.

- You said, "I had to tell stories on my own terms."

- Yes.

- How freeing is that?

- It's incredibly freeing and it is a total skin in the game moment because I rise and fall on my own efforts.

And if I don't get that story out, I don't have anyone else that I can lay the blame at, but I really thrive in that and I really want to know that it's my force putting these stories out into the world.

Life is too short to do anything but your best, and you have to know what is the best for you.

And it might not look like anyone else's life, and it really shouldn't because it's your life.

So take that risk, take that leap, and get to see what your best life could be.

- Well, thank you so much for coming on.

- Thanks for having me.

- And now we head out of the studio to a secret location, one where the chef had to trust himself, but that made way for a much bigger vision.

Well, well, well, we just had the experience of a lifetime making our way to the secret spot that makes so much, I want to say just it brings people together and it's an outside of the box concept.

Yes.

Tell us about how you came up with this.

- It was accidental, actually.

The place I was at wasn't the right place for me and I was the wrong chef for them.

And I restarted my private dinners just to make money while I looked for a job.

And so I did a couple pop-ups in a private event space, and the first two were great, and then the second two flopped hard.

I only sold like four tickets.

And all the work and time that went into it, it was just not worth the effort.

And I called my girlfriend up a few days before.

I was like, "Hey, we have a table for eight.

We could fit four people, right?

Like that makes sense, doesn't it?

Why us move for them and then instead they just come to us?"

It was a magical night and people were blown away.

We became friends with half that room and it was just like, "This is it.

This is what we should be doing.

It's focusing on a more homey place to be doing these dinners at."

So it just became the focus.

We found a new location and started just going with that and it's just grown from there.

- This isn't your typical night out.

What started as an out of the box thinking became an experience like none other.

Guests receive a code and location just one day before.

Once buzzed in, they make their way up to a hidden penthouse where the evening begins.

And from there, all your ducks are in a row for an unforgettable experience.

- And my dad worked in the bar and restaurant industry.

He had a rep, a food rep that worked at this five star restaurant back in the day and was like, "Well, if he wants to try cooking, send them to the wolves and see how it goes."

And so I met my mentor actually that month and I wore all black, big metal chain and all that.

I walked into this five star kitchen to this famous chef and was like, "Can I work here for free?"

And he took a chance on it.

He was like, "Yeah sure, whatever."

He didn't really care.

So I went once a week for free.

I hated it.

Yeah, right?

You hated it.

Yeah, I hated it.

I hated every minute of being there.

I didn't know how to hold a knife.

I cut myself, burned myself.

I got screamed at all the time.

I just got sick of not being able to have a life outside of school.

So I went up to the chef one day and I just said, "I'm not feeling good.

I'm going to leave."

I told my parents that this isn't what I want to do anymore.

And they gilded me really hard.

I was like, "Okay, we'll do that.

I'll go back."

And something clicked.

I fell in love.

So yeah, that's just kind of how it all started.

- We sometimes see chefs, especially big name chefs or the industry being saturated in the party scene, drugs and alcohol.

- That was actually my life.

Molly, cocaine for sure.

Ultimately around 23, I got my first DUI, and then at 24 I got my second.

And that's kind of when I had to take a step back and just realize my life is starting to spiral down and I need to change things.

I basically just buried myself in work.

It would just help me avoid doing the other things.

So I started going to work earlier.

I started working later.

I started just trying doing more R&D for the restaurant I was at at that time.

So it was a lot of things to change with that.

- When did you learn to trust yourself with this vision?

Because it's not easy being an entrepreneur.

- When everything started coming out and we were just hitting a stride with everything is kind of when I started to like, okay, we're doing something right.

I'll continue and go forward with it more for sure.

And - How did you know that you could do it?

What gave you that I can go out and do this?

- I wouldn't say there was a full thing of saying that I was ready to go out on my own.

I would just say I had the opportunity to do it.

I was like, I'm either going to stay stuck where I'm at or I just take a leap of faith and do it.

- Trust isn't something you wait for.

It's something you build.

For the person that's out there watching and wants to take that leap of faith, they feel like maybe something's churning inside them, what would you tell them?

- Do it.

You can only learn from failure, honestly.

And that's where we learned from it.

I'll never forget the first year we had a chance to get a Michelin star at Temperest and we had some big heads of our own.

We though we were guaranteed going to get it.

And when that guy came out, we didn't get the call.

It was like, all right, well, I guess we're not all that.

And honestly, you know what?

I think the focus should be on the people that are paying for the seats here.

And that's kind of what changed my whole mindset and led to more.

- Welcome to the show.

- Thank you.

I'm so happy to be here.

- We've been talking about learning to trust yourself and you help women in one of their most vulnerable spots in life.

How did you get to this point where you say, "Hey, when you're needing a hand, I'm here to help."

- Yeah.

I think it was a lifelong calling, to be honest.

I have this memory of being eight and wanting to be a child psychologist.

I just knew I wanted to be someone who helped kids that were in distress in family situations.

And so that turned into me supporting women who are the leaders, the cultural tone setters of a family with their relationships that are in crisis.

And that of course drips or trickles down to their kids.

- And with that, when you were eight years old - And - Developing this dream, you were actually living in trauma.

- I was.

Yeah.

I come from a very difficult context and that I think has been why I've had so many questions in my mind because when we are in a difficult context, we gather pain, we gather confusion.

Why is this happening to me?

Why is this like that?

And they stay like unanswered questions in ourselves.

And those unanswered questions over time build up until it's really hard to remember who you are.

- We are people that sometimes get lost along the way.

- Yes.

- And so when these women come to you and they are in crisis, how do you get them back whole?

- I like the word whole, but I prefer the word home.

Yeah?

Because whole is, I feel like we're a never ending project.

And so what is whole?

Yeah.

Right?

So home is all about you belonging to you.

And so how do we make sure that who you really are on the inside matches your life on the outside?

Because when there's congruence in those two things, that's where contentment lives, that's where satisfaction lives, and that's where your expansion of self lives, which is a really exciting thing to experience as a human is who might I be if I keep growing?

- And so to get back home, how long does that take?

I feel like people can be in different locations.

I know.

You like, Whitney, how long is this interview?

- Well, look, I think it depends.

And quite truthfully, the thread of connection home to yourself lives inside everyone.

And so I like to call that your wise woman or your good man or your wise person.

So there's a thread inside all of us that when we were born, we were born whole.

And in that wholeness, we didn't second guess ourselves.

When we were trying to learn to crawl, we didn't berate ourselves for not being able to do it on the first or the second time.

And that's when we built a relationship with what I call our wise woman, who is like our north star.

So if we've set a goal and we're looking to grow into somebody who has recovered from some kind of context that's been really difficult, maybe in a life, in a relationship, and that's our goal, then really what we're looking for is what is my next right thing?

If it took a lot of decisions that got me to here, how might I start the walk out where I'm building for myself a relationship with myself and a life that feels good?

Well, it's going to be brick by brick by brick.

Right.

And that thread of connection, that is where we know that we're in the right place.

- When you were exiting your childhood trauma and you actually went into the career that you dreamed - Of - I did.

- When did you find your wise woman?

- She is so fun because really I have done really extraordinary things considering where I came from.

And I think it is her and I that have been a partnership together for a really long time.

And so I definitively understood who she was in 2018, 2019, but I started befriending her much earlier, maybe 2007.

- I love that you basically are forming a friendship - Within - Yourself.

- Yes.

And so a friendship takes a hundred hours to build a solid one.

And that hundred hours, as if you and I got to know each other outside of this, we would need to spend a hundred hours where we know each other, we hung out.

So think about us.

We travel with ourselves from cradle to grave.

We're the only one beside ourselves the whole way.

And that, if we invest that time in that thread of connection, we can make it out of a thread and into a beautiful, strong, continuous connection that is very thick and meaningful to us.

And let's pretend you and I are identical twins and we have the same DNA, the same environment we grew up in.

And in that space, you are going to still bloom into a beautiful hydrangea and I might be a beautiful sunflower, right?

Two incredible flowers, identical twins, but totally different heart prints.

Wow.

So we look the same, we grew up the same, and yet we are blooming into very different people.

That's what a heart print is.

It's unique to you as a fingerprint, but who you are on the inside.

- Well, I know a little bit about twins.

I was going to say having two - Boy - Girl, but I get exactly what you're seeing because I look at them and I'm like, okay, completely two different people, even though they're being raised in the same situation and born on the same day.

But you're saying that we all have this unique heart print.

- Yeah.

- And if we get to know that, then we can start the healing?

- I think healing is one part because often we have less access to our heart print the more pain and confusion we have.

And let's face it, by the time you hit midlife, you've been through a lot and you've seen a lot and you've got a lot of unresolved questions and confusion.

So each time you can close those browser tabs of confusion and pain, we get more access to energy.

And if we invest that energy into a relationship with ourselves, that's when we'll find that we get to explore more of who we are.

And when our inside matches our outside, so the life we've built on the outside matches who we really are, when there's congruence between those two things, that's where contentment and satisfaction lives.

- Oh, I love that.

Well, I am going to be on a discovery for my wise woman.

I know she's in there.

Yeah.

Yes, but thank you so much for coming on.

- Thank you for having me.

It's been a joy.

- This topic, these stories, here's my takeaway.

Over the years, we've done a lot of firsts together, from skydiving to live television moments that couldn't be scripted.

I've learned that growth usually waits on the other side of uncertainty, and while hopping through the window of a NASCAR and racing around the Chicagoland Speedway at 122 miles an hour may look like a thrill seeking adventure, it was really a lesson of trust.

Trusting the training, trusting the preparation, trusting that even when fear shows up, you are capable of more than you think.

The truth is, learning to trust yourself doesn't always happen in the big moments.

It happens every time you say yes to something you've never done before.

Every time you take a chance, share your story, start over, or step outside your comfort zone.

Sometimes trusting yourself looks like taking the will of a race car.

Sometimes it looks like taking the will of your own life.

Either way, the lesson is the same.

You'll never know what you're capable of until you have the courage to go.

We did it.

I - Loved - It.

Oh my gosh, I love it.

We did it.

I know.

Learning to trust yourself doesn't happen overnight.

And like we learned from the guest, it takes a lot of courage.

Remember, your story matters.

- The Whitney Reynolds Show is supported by Kevin O'Connor Law Firm.

When it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Together at Peace Foundation, remembrance, resilience, and comfort creating a hopeful space for those who are grieving.

The C. Thomas Group, residential real estate investment and advisory.

The Respiratory Health Association, clean air and healthy lungs for all.

JoePerillo.com, where you can browse their selection of pre-owned vehicles.

Joe Perillo is based in Chicago and ships all over the country.

Children's Learning Place, a school for our earliest learners dedicated to aiding every child with the power of learning.

And West Real Estate Group, providing multifamily investment in property management services.

The Couch Brothers, family and first responder owned.

MM LaFleur, four women five women.

Additional funding provided by Home Carpet One, Newbie, iFive Sports, Brand Appliance and TV.

- All episodes are available for streaming anytime.

I love me.