(upbeat music) (the bells of dublane instrumental music) - When we started planning our event this year, we initially thought that it would be canceled like so many other events.

Well that just was not going to be an acceptable answer.

In one of our initial planning meetings, someone had the idea that what we needed was for someone to record the event, so that we could share it with you.

We were thrilled to partner with WQPT, to share in the lighting of the Remembrance Tree.

After all, we are just a bunch of healthcare workers, that would not know the first thing about producing a show.

What we did know, was that we wanted this time of remembrance, to be a time of healing.

Remember, grief is not a sign of weakness, nor is it a lack of faith.

It is the price we must pay for loving someone so deeply.

It hurts, but that love is what will sustain us.

Tonight for almost all of our events, we will allow our hospice team members, the opportunity to share their talents with all of us.

They will participate in remembering and honoring those of our loved ones who have died in our care over the past year, the past five years, 10, or maybe even 50 years, we never forget those whom we love, and those that loved us.

Our grief that we feel when someone dies, never ends, but I promise you it does change.

So tonight as we celebrate and remember the lives of those whom we have lost and make a plan and a promise to move forward, let us start with our hospice Chaplain Lyle.

(upbeat music) - I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and justice for all.

Tonight, we are honored to pay special tribute to our loved ones, military service to America, and for advancing the universal hope of freedom and Liberty for all.

We honor them for their service to our nation and the sacrifices made in their willingness to serve our country.

They endured hardships and were willing to risk their lives to maintain our freedom.

Please accept our thanks and our gratitude, your service to this nation is deeply appreciated.

We thank you.

- Music is such an important part of our program.

The therapy portion of music can help in so many ways.

Music can help when someone feels anxious, a soothing voice can help with fear.

Our music therapists can sing a religious song or maybe just a favorite song one last time, it can also bring a family together inside.

The smiles that happen when someone is singing is priceless.

♪ We've come to the time in the season ♪ ♪ When family and friends gather near ♪ ♪ To offer a prayer of Thanksgiving ♪ ♪ For blessings we've known through the year ♪ ♪ To join hands and thank the creator ♪ ♪ And now when Thanksgiving is due ♪ ♪ And this year when I count my blessings ♪ ♪ I'm thanking the Lord He made you ♪ ♪ This year when I count my blessings ♪ ♪ I'm thanking the Lord He made you ♪ ♪ I'm grateful for the laughter of children ♪ ♪ The sun and the wind and the rain ♪ ♪ The color of blue in your sweet eyes ♪ ♪ The light of a high ball and train ♪ ♪ The moon rise over a prairie ♪ ♪ Old love that you've made new ♪ ♪ And this year when I count my blessings ♪ ♪ I'm thanking the Lord He made you ♪ ♪ This year when I count my blessings ♪ ♪ I'm thanking the Lord He made you ♪ ♪ And when the time comes to be going ♪ ♪ It won't be in sorrow and tear ♪ ♪ I'll kiss you goodbye and I'll go on my way ♪ ♪ Grateful for all of the years ♪ ♪ I thank for all that you gave me ♪ ♪ For teaching me what love can do ♪ ♪ Thanksgiving day for the rest of my life ♪ ♪ I'm thanking the Lord He made you ♪ ♪ Thanksgiving day for the rest of my life ♪ ♪ I'm thanking the Lord He made you ♪ - A wreath is often part of holiday traditions.

Tonight, we use five candles to form a simple wreath.

We will light each candle as a way to honor your loved one.

A candle will be lit for our grief, our courage, our memories, our love and our hope.

And so we say we light these five candles in honor, of our loved ones who have died.

The first candle represents our grief.

The pain of losing you is intense.

It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.

- The second candle represents our courage to confront our sorrow, to comfort each other and to change our lives.

- The third candle is your memory.

The times we laughed, the times we cried, the times we were angry with each other, the silly things you did and the caring and joy you gave us.

- The fourth candle is a light of love.

As we enter this holiday season, day by day, we cherish a special place in our hearts that is reserved for you.

We thank you for the gift your living has brought to each of us.

- And the fifth candle is the light of hope.

It reminds us of love and memories of you that are ours forever.

May the glow of the flame be our source of helpfulness now and forever.

- What a special way to help us remember that although we will experience grief with our loss, we will always have our memories.

The love and hope that we will have, will give us the courage we need to go forward.

This tree was planted in 2004, when the Clarissa C. Cook Hospice House was built.

Over the years, it has endured many snowy winters, the heat and humidity of Iowa summers and the derecho of 2020 and was first lit last year at the celebration of life.

The evergreen tree is a wonderful symbol for all of us, who have lost someone and may be struggling to see that life will and should go on.

Life as we know, it will be different without that person we love, but we will continue to grow and live on just like our evergreen.

Throughout the holiday season, it will remain lit in honor of those who have died.

♪ I've heard there was a secret chord ♪ ♪ That David played, and it pleased the Lord ♪ ♪ But you don't really care for music, do you ♪ ♪ It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth ♪ ♪ The minor fall, the major lift ♪ ♪ The baffled king composing Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Your faith was strong but you needed proof ♪ ♪ You saw her bathing on the roof ♪ ♪ Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya ♪ ♪ She tied you to a kitchen chair ♪ ♪ She broke your throne, and she cut your hair ♪ ♪ And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Baby, I've been here before ♪ ♪ I've seen this room, I've walked this floor ♪ ♪ I used to live alone before I knew you ♪ ♪ But I've seen your flag on the marble arch ♪ ♪ Our love is not a victory march ♪ ♪ It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Maybe there's a God above ♪ ♪ But all I've ever learned from love ♪ ♪ Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you ♪ ♪ It's not a cry that you hear at night ♪ ♪ It's not somebody who's seen the light ♪ ♪ It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ Remember grief is a passage, not a place to stay.

A significant part of the healing process is to come to a place of acceptance of your loss.

There is no right or wrong to how we feel since we were all at different parts in that journey.

Next, we have three of our hospice staff members that will share a blessing for all of us.

It is a prayer that will encourage all of us to give yourself to love.

My favorite line is one that encourages us to open up your hearts to the tears and laughter and give yourself to love.

- Kind friends, all gathered around there's something I would say, that what brings us together here, has blessed us all today.

Love has made a circle that holds us all inside, where strangers are as family, loneliness can't hide.

You must give yourself to love, if love is what you're after.

Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter and give yourself to love.

- I've walked these mountains in the rain and learned to love the wind.

I've been up before the sunrise to watch the day begin.

I always knew I'd find you though I never did know where.

Like sunshine on a cloudy day stand before me now.

So give yourself to love if love is what you're after.

Open up your hearts to the tears and laughter and give yourself to love.

Give yourself to love.

- Love is born in fire, it's planted like a seed.

Love can't give you everything, but it gives you what you need and love comes when you're ready, love comes when you're afraid, it will be your greatest teacher, the best friend you have made.

So give yourself to love if love is what you're after, open up your hearts to the tears and laughter and give yourself to love.

♪ I see trees of green, red roses too ♪ ♪ I see them bloom for me and you ♪ ♪ And I think to myself ♪ ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ ♪ I see skies of blue and clouds of white ♪ ♪ The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night ♪ ♪ And I think to myself ♪ ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ ♪ The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky ♪ ♪ Are also on the faces of people going by ♪ ♪ I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do ♪ ♪ But they're really saying I love you ♪ ♪ I hear babies cry, I watch them grow ♪ ♪ They'll learn much more than I'll ever know ♪ ♪ And I think to myself ♪ ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ ♪ Yes, I think to myself ♪ ♪ What a wonderful world ♪ - What we want to leave with you is a feeling of hope, love, and support.

Also encouragement to go forward and embrace what is in store for us.

As we near the end of our Remembrance celebration, what has been such a special night, I would like to share with you a poem that I have kept with me for several years.

It is by Bruce Wilmer entitled "Time will Ease the Hurt" and it goes like this.

The sadness of the present day is locked and set in time and moving to the future is a slow and painful climb.

But all the feelings that are now so vivid and so real, can't hold their fresh intensity as time begins to heal.

No wounds so deep will ever go entirely away yet every hurt becomes a little less from day to day.

Nothing can erase the painful imprints on your mind, but there are softer memories that time will let you find.

Though your heart won't let the sadness simply slide away.

The echoes will diminish, even though the memory stay.

- We remember our loved ones because they are a part of everything we do, everything that we are.

We remember our loved ones because they are still and always will be a part of us.

We talk about them because we are theirs and they are ours.

Death does not change that.

Father we have known many blessings in our lives.

Yes, we have lost, but we have also gained, help us remember those we have lost, we have hurt, but we have also healed.

Help us continue to heal.

We have struggled, but we have also loved, help us in our struggles.

And we have loved help us to love father.

Help us change and grow God for all we have been given in ever so many ways, we are blessed and we are thankful, Amen.

♪ Sometimes in our lives we all have pain ♪ ♪ We all have sorrow ♪ ♪ But if we are wise ♪ ♪ We know that there's always tomorrow ♪ ♪ Lean on me, when you're not strong ♪ ♪ And I'll be your friend ♪ ♪ I'll help you carry on ♪ ♪ For it won't be long ♪ ♪ 'Til I'm gonna need ♪ ♪ Somebody to lean on ♪ ♪ If there is a load you have to bear ♪ ♪ That you can't carry ♪ ♪ I'm right up the road ♪ ♪ And I'll share your load ♪ ♪ If you just call me ♪ ♪ You just call on me brother, when you need a hand ♪ ♪ We all need somebody to lean on ♪ ♪ I just might have a problem that you'll understand ♪ ♪ We all need somebody to lean on ♪ ♪ Lean on me, when you're not strong ♪ ♪ And I'll be your friend ♪ ♪ I'll help you carry on ♪ ♪ For it won't be long ♪ ♪ 'Til I'm gonna need ♪ ♪ Somebody to lean on ♪ ♪ Lean on ♪ ♪ Lean on ♪ - You are welcome to visit the tree anytime you have a minute or two.

You can stop by to just take a look, spend a few minutes in quiet reflection, say a prayer, take a picture or share a song.

None of us should travel this path alone and please remember you are not alone, God bless you all.

(amazing grace by John Newton instrumental music) - [Announcer] During this tender time, please know that support is available.

For more information about resources of comfort, please contact the following.

The Center for Loss and Life Transition @centerforloss.com, Centering and Grief Digest @centering.org and Willowgreen: Meaningful Resources for Hope, Healing and Inspiration @willowgreen.com.